A higher authority
Valentine’s Day party tips from Pasadena Party Goddess Marley Majcher
By Dan O'Heron 02/04/2010
What can lovebirds do when they’re in trouble — when shows of affection are shorter than a hummingbird’s repose; when hearts sink like wounded ducks after an affair has ended; when things get so bad there is more billing than cooing?
Try doing what couples whose amatory action is still working do: throw a party, either pro- or anti-Valentine.
To guarantee partiers show up, seek guidance from The Party Goddess, Marley Majcher, the local higher authority on producing galas, fetes and soirees just about anywhere — hotels, hospitality tents and living rooms.
Fresh from throwing parties for celebrities like Britney Spears and Pierce Brosnan, Majcher enjoys a national reputation as a unique catering and event planning company. From concept to completion, from invite to good night — and bit parts between — this Party Goddess leads party animals through a maze of often confusing and conflicting problems by providing food, drink, flowers, staff, entertainers, decor, rentals, venues and games.
For Valentine’s Day, Majcher has plans for parties in which both loved ones can taste chocolate and roses. But the unloved can take heart. She suggests creating an Aladdin’s visual cave of pink and red: candles, flowers, napkins, linens, wines, plus drinks with red ice cubes. In the bedroom, where you might be doing more than storing coats and purses, sprinkle rose petals on the bed. It will remind guests that your party may be the start of an evening that goes until dawn.
For an anti-Valentine, Majcher draws from Jon Winokur’s “A Curmudgeon’s Garden of Love” by festooning a room with placards bearing his significant anti-romantic calendar years, including his small print explanations (except for our bracketed additions):
1988: Jimmy Swaggart admits having had sex with a prostitute, expressing confidence that God will forgive him (her).
1985: Woman wins Iditarod dog sled race (then appears nude in Playboy magazine).
1960: Norman Mailer stabs wife with kitchen knife; then receives three-year suspended sentence after observation at Bellevue.
1942: Supreme Court upholds Nevada divorces.
1916: Women’s International Bowling Congress founded.
800: Charlemagne bans prostitution (Italian Navy mutinies).
From her giant warehouse of props, Majcher can provide unique ancillary entertainments for any kind of party. For Valentine’s Day, she can transform your backyard into a perfumed garden of Eros. For St. Patrick’s Day, she can put a wee leprechaun on stilts and provide Guinness by the gallon and clumps of heather on which to sleep them off.
Asked what unique thing she would do for, say, a Sara Palin wedding in Alaska, Majcher replied, “Throw ice.”
And for an interracial nude chess club? “No napkins.”
Some other no-no’s: Dom Perignon will taste like Diet Pepsi if poured from a plastic cup; flowers in a jar are nice if you’re doing a dress rehearsal for a play set in the Depression.
Appearing on “Martha Stewart’s Living,” “Fox & Friends” and shows on every major network, Majcher has drawn more than ordinary notice. She’s been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal. She also appeared recently in the Chicago Tribune Sunday section. The topic: How do you crash parties?
How does one succeed in imposing fraudulently?
Her answer: “Kill them with confidence. Dress appropriately and carefully research details about the host: They’re going to quiz you at the door,” she said.
“For invites,” Majcher continued, “the most important thing a party-giver can do is have a host greet each guest at the door — A- and B-listed — escorting them around the room, making sure each corner of the party plan is connected to something everybody feels. And, of course, get a drink in their hands as soon as possible.”
Things can and do go wrong. One black-tie affair became a black-eye affair. “The host insisted on surrounding her birthday cake with paper flowers. When she blew out the candles, the flowers caught on fire,” Majcher recalled.
In order to have an ideal, stress-free party for both giver and guest, Majcher indicated that the planner must be as enticing as a mistress but as watchful as a house mother.
Recently feeling that the only candlelight in my life would come with the next power outage in Eagle Rock, I opened a colorfully lithographed invitation to Four Seasons for Majcher’s 40th birthday.
Directions led us to a dark road intersected by lots of corrugated metal and razor wire. My companion thought it was a sting operation. Hitting a rut, she feared that we would hobble to a halt with a flat tire and have to run for lives. As it turned out, Four Seasons was not a hotel, but Majcher’s metaphor for all the fine seasons it would take her to reach 40. The warehouse party was great.
A goddess for parties? I’m a believer.
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