Don't hold the phone!

When I decided to pester pedestrians on Colorado Boulevard, demanding to know what they thought of the new hands-free cell-phone law that went into effect on July 1, I wasn’t prepared for the laissez-faire responses I would get.  I was also surprised to find that I was hungry and hot and didn’t feel like bothering people, so instead I popped into La Fiesta Grande for a bite to eat. Naturally, after eating I was full and sleepy and it was still blazing outside, so I cut myself some slack and decided just to bother my fellow diners. 

I had already determined that I’d ask an arbitrary number (read 10, so I could do easy math) of seemingly regular folks what they thought about the law, which had been advertised on the illuminated Ventura (134) Freeway alert board for weeks. Looking as investigative journalisty as I could, I staked out my prey and interrupted their meals with notebook and pen poised.

I chose to interview five men and five women, beginning with the most rudimentary question I could formulate: “Are you aware of the new hands-free law that just went into effect?” All of my interview subjects were quite aware of the law, but that was no big surprise. But then I decided to get controversial. “Do you agree with the law?” I posed, eager for the rants and raves I expected to hear; including how unconstitutional the law is, what a colossal waste of police effort it is, and how it’s basically one of those laws that nobody will pay any attention to. Like speed limits.

I was, in short, a bit surprised by the responses. Of the five people I interviewed in La Fiesta Grande, three passively supported the law; one woman couldn’t care less, as she keeps a cell phone locked in her glove compartment for emergencies only, and only one diner was even mildly averse to the law. Where was the outrage? Didn’t anyone think this was just another way for Uncle Sam (or Uncle Arnold) to tell us what we can and can’t do? 

I personally feel the law is kind of bogus, but I’ve never been a fan of being told what to do. Sue me. I also lived in New York when this same law passed, thereby having firsthand experience of just how annoying it is to be mid-conversation with my best friend in Ohio (who is also driving and talking on the cell phone illegally) only to have to say “hold on, cops,” and drop the cell phone into my lap, before retrieving it and continuing the conversation after the black and white has safely passed. 

I started thinking that there may be a correlation between Pasadena residents and passive indifference to this law, so I decided I’d take the rest of my interviewing to other cities to test my theory.

In Toluca Lake, I probed the minds of two professional men in their early 40s, with results more in line with my own thinking. Ron and Richard, who both owned hands-free devices, and thus weren’t particularly inconvenienced by the law, were nonetheless very much opposed to it. Both opined that the law was at best “suspicious” and not worth a lick of police officers’ time to enforce. 

In North Hollywood, Joe suggested that the law only gives police officers probable cause to make sure we’re not engaging in other illegal activities while driving. Aha! Now I was getting somewhere (assuming that somewhere leads to a giant conspiracy theory).

Unfortunately, my working hypothesis that only Pasadenans are passively indifferent to the law was proven fallible. In Studio City, Andrea supported the law, stating that if it “prevented even one accident from occurring, it’s worth it.” So much for my groundbreaking discovery.

Back at home, armed with my statistics, I was nonetheless determined to unearth shocking empirical data using Venn Diagrams, a skill I’d acquired courtesy of Cal State Long Beach. I found none. No riveting conclusions appeared, other than the fact that I may be one of the last people who have yet to purchase a hands-free device. 

Therefore, I can only deduce that although I think the law is unnecessary, and its enforcement is far from a good use of police officers’ time, the hands-free law probably won’t burden most people, and definitely won’t have much of an impact on me. 

I don’t talk on the phone in my car much anyway.  I’m too busy fiddling with my iPod and touching up my makeup.

Jen Hadley is by her own admission a terrible driver, inept at reading a map and was a former used car saleswoman. Give her the finger or tell her to buy herself a nav system at jmhadley624@yahoo.com.