Dream catcher
Dreams can reveal a great deal if we write them down before they fade
By Patti Carmalt-Vener 08/12/2010
Dear Patti,
I just saw the movie “Inception” and was fascinated because it got me in touch with how interested I am in my own dreams. It seems to me that having a better understanding of what my dreams mean — especially recurring dreams — could be an exciting personal journey. I tend to hold back my feelings when I’m awake and yet when I dream
I sometimes get in touch with intense feelings I’ve either been ignoring or didn’t know existed. Are there tips on how to better remember, explore and understand my dreams?
I also wonder why I have multiple dreams but my husband never dreams.
— Brianna
Dear Brianna,
The first step in training yourself to remember dreams is to pay attention while you’re experiencing them and to record them immediately upon waking. Dreams barely make it to consciousness and even the very vivid ones you think you won’t forget will quickly fade in detail. Buy a journal in which to record your dreams and always keep it next to your bed, along with a pen. You might want to keep a book-light nearby, too, in case you wake up in the middle of the night. Think of this ritual just as you would a decision to keep a phone on and next to you in case a family member or friend needed to reach you in an emergency. In this case, the important caller happens to be your unconscious mind wanting to talk to you.
When you first awaken, try to maintain the same position in which you were just sleeping. Pull up dream fragments as best you can and then jot them down. With practice, you’ll gradually be able to recall more details. It’s also important you get into the habit of doing this for every dream, as themes are often repeated across many dreams and need to be studied collectively for full insight. It’s a helpful idea to date each dream and write a little about what happened in real life the day before.
What is the dominant emotion in your dream? Fear? Anger? Sadness? Think about the age you are in your dream and what it reflects about that period of your life. Are the people and objects you observe drawn from real life or are they symbolic archetypes that, in some cases, may represent different aspects of your own personality? For example, a person in your dream may seem tired like your father, shy like your brother, but not anyone you’ve ever exactly known. In this case, the person may represent the tired and shy parts of you.
One of the theories of dream analysis is that we dream to release our built-up feelings of the day. Just like we feel better when we cry, we feel better after dreaming and releasing pent-up emotions. It’s also believed that dreaming allows us to tap our unconscious mind and the feelings, thoughts and desires we’ve hidden from ourselves.
As for recurring dreams and themes, these are often the product of issues that aren’t being confronted or haven’t yet been resolved. If you’re dreaming vividly or waking yourself up with a start, you’re giving yourself a clear message to pay attention to what your unconscious is trying to tell you. Once you begin to understand what’s being communicated, there may not be any need to keep having that dream.
Regardless of what they say, everybody dreams — it’s just that not everybody remembers their dreams upon waking. There’s a strong belief that we sleep to slow down brain activity and give our brains a rest. Some theorists also say that dreams are a biologically necessary part of sleeping. The average person has three to six dreams a night. In an eight-hour stretch, this translates to about two hours of dreaming. Your dreams are encouraging you to change, so that when you’re 90 you won’t look back with deep regrets.
Patti Carmalt-Vener, a faculty member with the Southern California Society for Intensive Short Term Psychotherapy, has been a psychotherapist in private practice for 23 years and has offices in Pasadena,
Santa Monica and Canoga Park. Contact her at (626) 584-8582 or
email pcarmalt@aol.com.
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