Free-range chicken

The verdict is in on the unintelligent design of George Bush

By Nora Dunn 10/13/2005

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Last week, George W. Bush was back in full swing, reminding Americans that we were attacked on Sept. 11, and telling us to be afraid; be very afraid.  He told us what my 13-year-old nephew knows, that al-Qaeda is a loosely knit organization that operates under various leadership.

Just a couple of days before, Bush was in the Rose Garden talking about the birds. He asked that Congress give him the power, without the permissions of local states or cities, to send in the military to restore order in areas that have been quarantined after perhaps thousands or even millions of people were stricken with the bird flu. Can you imagine being laid up in the hospital with an AK-47 trained on you while you try to use your bedpan?  Bush didn't talk about prevention, just about how he would handle the disaster. He was talking about the Asian bird flu, which has claimed about two dozen lives in Asia and is not yet transmittable from human to human.  

I have always bought organic free-range chicken because corporate animal farms never appealed to me. Thousands of chickens crammed into a coop are bound to come down with something, even it's it just a case of the jitters. So, I like my chickens on the move, eating organic feed and getting some alone time. I eat meat from cows that roam and eat grass and are not shot up with antibiotics or hormones to make them weigh more.  An animal that eats standing at a trough filled with corn, byproducts and chemicals is bound to wind up in Dr. Phil's weight loss program and I am not a member of the doctor's cult. I am a former Catholic and still recuperating from that one.

What the president said gave me the chills, however. I never thought he was a bright man, but initially I did not believe he was demented. After the bombings at the WTC I was so grief-stricken I gave George a chance. We were in need of a wizard, a creative thinker. We were in need of the best and the brightest. And so I decided to wait a bit and see if this ordinary man might find something extraordinary within himself inside this situation.

But what we got was what we had, and the stupidity of this man, the butt of so many jokes, is no joke. He has now come up with 10 foiled terrorist plots, as if he were writing for “The David Letterman Show.” He has nominated a woman who is of no repute, no glorious achievement and no identity other than that she had the skill to grab on to George's coattails and hang on. That's just as bad as what his father gave African America in Clarence Thomas. There were so many other far more distinguished black men and women who could have taken that job and done something with it.

Well, good for Harriet but not for me. Not good enough. I want a woman on the court like Judge Judy, who has litigated thousands of cases for the common folk, is pro choice, and says, "So what if two people of the same sex love each other and want to get married. We have other more important things to resolve." She's a judge that states, "When you judge, sometimes you have to be creative."

If you are laughing at me, go ahead. I can take it. Things in America can't get weirder than they are. Can they?

It angers me that even after Katrina so many people continue to give Bush the benefit of the doubt. What doubt could there be? He insults my intelligence the way most network sitcoms and reality shows do. How low can we go? His statements such as, "The verdict is still out on intelligent design," and saying "clean nuke" is an answer to global warming, would be laughable if his policies weren’t helping to kill the planet for years to come.

The verdict is not out on the intelligent design of George's intelligence. He ain't got the goods. One wonders if he has a pulse under those $5,000 handmade suits he's been sporting. This is a scary man with an equally scary administration populated with boobs, and not the kind that get exposed on spring break in Florida, unless they are the fake ones.

Here's my advice to keep your health and sanity: Read. Support newspapers and real journalism. Support your local independent bookstore. Eat right by supporting your local, small organic farmers. Eat vegetables without pesticides, resist fear, and beware of the only free-range chicken in Washington.

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