Make room for 'Sex'

I admit it: I love the new “Sex and the City” movie. But that apparently doesn’t sit well with some people.

I don’t know why. I am not a feminist who thinks women should all be one way or no way. I’ve NEVER said that, although some choose to believe otherwise.

And I’m not a stereotypical feminist by any stretch, nor do I know many stereotypical feminists, although there are some that veer more toward one end of the spectrum than others.

To tell the truth, some feminists think I’m a sell-out. I wear high heels. I enjoy fashion. I run around doing a play that is openly about my love of sex and drugs called “Since She’s Been Gone,” a story I wrote and produced about the sometimes tortured relationship I had with my mother.

I don’t think there is any one way to be a woman. I’ve always believed that the hallmark of being a feminist was the belief that a woman can be and do anything she wants, any time or anywhere she feels like being that person or doing that thing. That’s one of the main reasons I love this movie and its eclectic collection of characters: They are living their lives, and, like many, many Americans, I am eating that up.

Why, you ask? Given the casting ratios alone, we see more examples of men on the screen then we do women. It’s truly a TREAT to see women — even though they aren’t like me or necessarily ones that I’d hang out with — relating with each other.

I’m sick and tired, as are a lot of women, of: Madonna or whore; housewife or frustrated, hard-ass career woman. There are just a few stock characters that are awfully tiresome, predictable and overused.

There are women who write that drivel too. Check out “27 Dresses,” for instance, directed and written by women who ought to be embarrassed. I guess the aim for “women’s liberation” really has been to make room for the entire spectrum of personalities, preferences, styles and nuances.

My late niece used to accuse me of not supporting her because she chose to be a wife and mother. I told her that was unfair because she got that from mainstream media, not me. I have made it my life’s mission to have women be whatever it is that they want to be, because THEY wanted that, not because of some narrow definition of what someone else thought they should be. She wanted to be a housewife and mother and I would fight to the finish for her right to do that.

If someone wants to spend $400 on shoes like “SATC’s” Carrie Bradshaw, played
by Sara Jessica Parker — which, incidentally, makes my activist brain reel and I have judged as horrible — I think that in the arc of characters that we’ve been able to see on screen, those women are worthy of watching too.

These are four distinctly different and delightful human beings that defy mere stereotyping. They have nuance. I was already a fan of the show and loved what they tussled with on a weekly basis. They wrestled with questions JUST LIKE REAL PEOPLE DO ALL THE TIME.

Women like the characters in “SATC” would have been undreamable a mere 30 years ago. Do I recommend them as role models or as the only way to be? No.

Do I want to see more and different movies about all sorts of women? Yes. What’s important about “SATC” is that it’s kicked butt at the box office and gives lie to the Hollywood myth that you HAVE to make movies that are attractive to teen boys.

Let’s also remember that HBO — the parents of “SATC” — has done more to employ more women than most entertainment entities. Candace Bushnell is the originator of these characters, not Michael Patrick King, who wrote and directed the movie. King’s an openly gay man, which is in and of itself something of a miracle in Hollywood. Plenty of closeted gay men stayed that way even up until just 10 years ago.

I don’t think a lot of men really know how much they take for granted in terms of being able to see all sorts of role models on the screen. It’s really great that men never have to worry that a male character — or director or writer — reflects badly on men. It’s just assumed that they don’t reflect on all men.

I dream of a day when a piece of work by or about women isn’t measured by gender but can be shitty or great on its own.

We are a long ways off from that. So yes, in some ways I guess I really do want it ALL ways. I want to be a person first and a gender second. But, unfortunately, I won’t see that in my lifetime.

Ellen Snortland can be reached at www.snortland.com.