Sock it to me!
Big, beautiful tootsies like mine were made to be loved … but also covered
By Erin Loomis 01/28/2010
I recently discovered that I have a mild case of a little-known hang-up known as podophobia — fear of feet. I consider my case mild, because, in actuality, it’s only my feet that I fear. In fact, other people can bare their wiggling tootsies willy-nilly and I don’t run, hide, or care (unless they happen to be particularly stinky tootsies).
It’s just that when it comes to my own size-10 clodhoppers I am afraid. Well, not actually afraid, per se, but there isn’t a phobia specific to people who just kinda don’t like their feet. So I adopted podophobia, as it was the closest phobia I could find, it seemed good enough, and it’s fun to say. Podophobia!
It’s not that my feet are horrible or deformed, but their sheer size makes them cumbersome. I have spent countless dollars, euros and pounds over the years buying adorable things to cover, camouflage and adorn my gargantuan feet.
As phobias go, personal podophobia ain’t that bad. In fact, it is usually something I don’t have to address, with the slight exception of springtime and summer beach excursions.
Fall and winter have been, in the past, a safe time. A time for boots. A time for closed toes, shiny leather skillfully encasing those that won’t be named — or pedicured.
I should have seen it coming; this year the crazy strappy sandal is back with a vengeance, along with what I like to call the convertible boot. These babies are full-coverage, knee-high goodness, with just that scandalous pop of a peep toe, or punk rock-style slashes all along the length of the boot showing not only incendiary bits of toe, but calf, shin and — gasp — ankle.
I want to hate this trend because it has made me painfully aware of my lackadaisical winter moisturizing and pedicuring habits. Sadly, or happily, I can’t hate it because these shoes are insanely cute and go with pretty much everything. Pair them with jeans, with skirts, with little dresses, with shorts and a cozy sweater to balance out the draftiness; these shoes are wonderful. But the question remains: “What am I to do with my gnarly feet?” I can’t have them poking out and ruining my ensemble, at least not until spring has sprung.
Luckily, the world of fashion lent me a helping hand. Perhaps it is because of winter’s chill whipping across the toes, heels and ankles of those who dare to bare in the spirit of all things trendy. But, the fashion gods have spoken, and now it is time to buy socks.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, you heard me: socks. They are hip, they are fun, and they are warmer than hanging your toes out in the frosty wind. The fashion world is pairing ankle socks and even legwarmers with peep toe heels and strappy sandals and choosing tall socks to fill in the gaps of those holey “hail Caesar” boots. Not only does this trend offer an escape from distasteful toes, but it’s also a sneaky and fashionable way to keep warm on a chilly winter night. Don’t just grab an old pair of your father’s tube socks, as that will just make you look dumpy and bizarre. Pairing the right kind of sock with your more formal footwear can be tricky, but with a little experimentation and a good sense of adventure you too can rock this runway trend.
Try little frilly feminine socks with a pair of strappy heels. You want something on the sheer side, as bulky socks tend to overwhelm the delicate lines of the shoe itself. If you want to try for a little sparkle, Vogue magazine suggests pairing metallic ankle socks with peep-toe heels. Girly ankle socks can soften the severity of dramatic booties, whereas a more edgy sock can amp up a tired pair of heels for a night out. This is an excellent opportunity to get in touch with your inner dominatrix or Punky Brewster, especially if you love legwarmers as much as I do. Just be aware that less is more, and if you go crazy below the knee, all other accessories should be on their best, mild-mannered behavior.
If the idea of wearing socks with your party shoes seems terrifying, fear not. It has also become acceptable to wear tights and pantyhose with your lovely convertible shoes. So cancel your emergency mid-winter pedicure and head out on the town with your tootsies sheathed and warm inside those lovely strappy, punk rock, peep-toe sensations that you’ve been hiding in your closet.
The podophobes of the world will thank you.
Contact Erin at madeupbyloomis@gmail.com.
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