The Sandwich Generation
Baby boomers feel the squeeze of caring for aging parents and college-age children in a down economy
By Carolyn Neuhausen 04/29/2010
For years, baby boomers have had it pretty good; top jobs in businesses, good health and longer life expectancy, to name a few benefits of being born in the boom years following World War II.
Today, many of these same people have taken on some new duties, as well as a new name to describe the position they find themselves in.
Today, baby boomers are also members of what is being called the Sandwich Generation, a label borne of the financial squeeze that people between 46 and 64 are finding themselves in from both their children, who they are still paying for, and their aging parents, whom they must now care for.
Although historically multiple generations have lived together and healthy adults have cared for the elderly until they passed on, the financial difficulty in caring for aging parents is increasingly difficult to bear, largely because seniors are living longer and, as a result, outliving their own savings.
For the first time in history, multiple generations are living during the same time, instead of one generation replacing another. In 2006, the American Association of Retired Persons found that 44 percent of women aged 45 to 56 had at least one parent living and were simultaneously caring for their children.
Statistics published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta state that the average life expectancy in the US was 77.8 years in 2006. In sharp contrast, in 1900 the average life expectancy was 58 and only .03 percent of the population back then would get to be 100 years old.
“People over 85 are increasing at a huge rate and every month we celebrate 100 [year] birthdays,” said Marvin Schachter, chairman of the Senior Advocacy Council of Pasadena.
To make financial matters more difficult, middle-aged adults in increasing numbers are caring for their adult children, who have moved back from college and cannot find a job, or have been laid off from work. These same parents are paying inflated college tuitions for their children, all while paying down college loans and living in homes with decreasing values. They are also seeing their own retirement funds plummet with the downturn in the stock market.
For years, especially during the last decade, California home values exploded and steadily appreciated, leading some to believe that they were equity rich — that they could refinance their homes, get a loan or sell and make a profit to help out with their other expenses. Although the recession has negatively affected all generations, those who were planning on using the value of their homes for future expenses are in real trouble.
According to a survey conducted in 2008 by the nonprofit Pew Research Center, of the 872 baby boomers polled, 55 percent said they felt it was unlikely that their income would keep up with the increase in cost of living.
Perhaps the most constant financial burden for baby boomers with aging parents is finding them housing with health care services, which is no cheap feat considering that retirement homes and health-care living facilities range in average cost from $3,000 to $5,000 a month in California, according to Schachter and Tonjia Barnes, Pasadena Senior Center director of client services and outreach.
Though the future may look bleak for some baby boomers, there are some resources available for members of the so-called Sandwich Generation and their parents. In January, President Obama acknowledged the need for financial help with elder care and proposed spending $102.5 million on families that need or provide their own care for their elderly. This is significant, not only for the elderly who wish to live in their own homes, but also for their children, middle-aged adults who will now be granted aid for the in-home care giving that they already provide.
Because financial aid to seniors is minimal and fixed, including Social Security and Medicare, seniors often find food and housing expensive, especially while paying for nursing and medical care. For seniors on very low fixed incomes, usually less than $19,000 a year, there are low-income housing options, although it is typical to wait for years to get an affordable housing unit.
Often religious institutions dedicate property and funds to affordable senior living centers. The Jewish Federation Council in Los Angeles, for instance, started a nonsectarian nonprofit called the Menoreh Housing Foundation, which strives to provide affordable housing for the elderly of every faith. In fact, before the economy tanked, Episcopal Home Communities had purchased Scripps Home in Altadena with the plan of creating newer, more updated luxury senior living facilities. The $175 million project, however, has been placed on hold, leaving seniors in the area with a dearth of living options.
One of the main difficulties for seniors is they are often outliving their retirement accounts, so in light of the increase in life expectancy, banking institutions and hospitals offer informational consultations on long-term planning, savings accounts that are similar to Roth IRAs which yield a little bit of interest.
While boomers can save financially by moving their parents into their homes, caring for the elderly can be stressful and cause an increase in depression, stress, physical illness and anxiety, all of which are prevalent among middle-aged women caring for their elderly parents. The job gets even more stressful if the baby boomers are taking care of their own kids as well.
La Cañada Flintridge’s Deanna Bushman moved her parents into her home last August because her father’s ailing health was too much a strain on her mother, whose own health was deteriorating due to caregiver’s stress.
Although Bushman shares the care of her parents with her three sisters, she worries that by focusing on her parents’ well-being and health, she’s not attending enough to the needs of her daughter in college and her son, a junior in high school, who has college planning ahead of him.
“I think, as a parent, I worry that I’m not focusing enough on my children, although both of them are very self directed, very good kids. There’s that guilt thing. My attention is shifting away from them. I constantly worry if I am paying enough attention,” said Bushman.
As financially or emotionally stressful as taking care of adult kids and elderly parents can be, multiple-generational living can present some emotional benefits and familial bonding as well. “I really feel that it is a busy time and somewhat stressful, but there is an enriching quality about it, a connectedness in the family,” Bushman said.
Acknowledging the hardships for baby boomers attending to multiple generations, psychologist Patti Carmalt-Vener, who regularly counsels families and writes a column for the Pasadena Weekly, says setting clear boundaries and respecting family roles are all ways to make multiple generation households and elderly caretaking a healthy reality. It is also important to respect the dignity and wisdom of the elderly when they live with their children and grandchildren.
Clear communication, without ambiguity is important as well. “If you are going to let the adult kids move back in, do so with open arms or don’t do it; don’t let them move back in and then make them feel worthless or ashamed that they can’t find work,” said Carmalt-Vener.
Some advice she gives to stressed women is to have a support network of friends, to get involved in book groups or women’s groups as avenues to talk to other peers outside the family. “Do your best to understand what you can give and what you can’t,” said Carmalt-Vener.
The Conference on Aging and Educational Faire, featuring updates on Social Security and Medicare and talks on finding work after age 50, financial security, avoiding scams, care-giving, brain fitness and volunteering, is from 8 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at First Church of the Nazarene, 3500 E. Sierra Madre Blvd., Pasadena. Dr. Jerome P. Lisk will speak on “Risk Factors, Treatment and Prevention of Stroke.” Suggested donation is $5. The event includes lunch. For information, call (877) 926-8300. Register online at conferenceonaging.eventbrite.com.
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Comments
I enjoyed your article, Carolyn. The "sandwich generation" is pulled in many directions and often doesn't have a moment to themselves. Caring for children and also your parents can be both expensive and stressful. Adult day care may be one option for a "sandwich generation" adult faced with a tight budget but looking for safe place that provides health care supervision, socialization, well rounded meals and even transportation for their parents. Active Day (http://www.activeday.com) is nationwide adult day care network but there are several adult day care facilities out there to look into. Not only does adult day care cost significantly less than assisted living or nursing home care, these facilities provide a caregiver peace of mind and a well deserved break.
posted by CaregiversUSA on 4/29/10 @ 11:21 a.m.
Thanks for sharing this great story Carolyn. With millions of Americans retiring every year and the rising health care costs, this story raises big questions for a lot of Americans. I think that the future of long term care will move a lot more to aging in place or aging in home than in nursing homes. That tends to be cheaper and a lot healthier for the elderly person.
I currently work on an eldercare blog for a nationwide network of caregivers and we often discuss this issues. If you are interested in learning more, I hope that you will check out our blog at www.rightathome.net/seniorhomecare.
Best Wishes,
Bill