Too much of a good thing
Effective but somewhat difficult solutions to organizing your overstuffed closet
By Erin Loomis 02/18/2010
I t’s funny where you find epiphanies. My most recent revelation occurred while I lay in a crumpled heap in front of my closet after losing my balance attempting to squash one more jacket onto the already jam-packed bar.
“Perhaps,” I thought as I unfolded myself from a pile of hangers and clothing that had joined me in my trip to the floor, “it might be time to clean this sucker out”.
I have never been an example of organization. Over the years I’ve tried lots of ways to get organized — color coding, seasonal sorting, separating items by sleeve length, hem line and decade. I bought cubbies and hooks and racks and shelving and those things that let you hang a bunch of stuff on a little bar that drops down and allegedly makes more space. None of it worked.
My cries to the heavens for more closet space were ignored by the powers that be, so I resorted to stuffing my available closet to the gills, a process that requires serious bodily leverage to incorporate even the tiniest mini-skirt, which frequently ended with me panting on the floor. Despite all my efforts to ignore the truth, I have now been forced to face the facts: I have too many clothes.
The solution to the problem is simple, but very difficult. I like my clothes, all of them. I mean, I admit that I have things that I never ever wear, but it is entirely possible that someday I might want to.
Essentially I am crap at paring down my wardrobe — I can justify keeping almost anything, be it ugly, ill-fitting or unworn.
Take, for example, the bright orange Princess Lea T-shirt from childhood. I can’t get rid of it for a plethora of reasons:
1) It still fits, sort of, in that 1990s bare midriff way.
2) If it wasn’t so faded, it would be a collector’s item.
3) The graphic is that shiny silver stuff that you never see on shirts anymore, because it is probably toxic and illegal now.
I had to find another way to separate my clothes and make sure the density of my closet didn’t start to affect the structural integrity of my home, or cause injuries to myself or other unwitting humans who might attempt to hang something up. I decided to ask around and was presented with some very plausible solutions by people who excel at organization.
Here’s a good idea: Phone a friend. No longer just for game shows, this option provides you with an accomplice and a little moral support. Ideally, pick someone who has a no-nonsense attitude and a keen eye for fashion. The purpose of the friend is having someone with an objective eye and a lack of sentimental attachment to your wardrobe. They are there to say: “You haven’t worn that since 1989 and it made you look fat back then. Get rid of it.” These “sorting assistants” should be bribed just like someone coming over to help you move. Provide pizza, snacks and age-appropriate beverages. Because, despite the fascinating depths of your wardrobe, no one really wants to come over and help you clean out your closet.
For those with no friends, or friends who aren’t bribed easily, try this little trick: Get some colored construction paper and cut it into little tags, using one distinct color or color scheme. Affix the tags prominently to each item of clothing in your closet with a safety pin (or just those specific “I’m-not-sure-I-wanna-get-rid-of-this” items) and set a date. It can be any length of time you want — from a month to six months, even a year for those who enjoy procrastination.
When your selected date arrives, dive into your closet and donate or sell anything that still has a tag. You have no excuses here, because you have hard proof in front of you that the item hasn’t been worn in ages.
If that seems too labor-intensive, or if you prefer instant clean-closet gratification, there are a few ways to make parting ways with your clothes less painful. Get a bunch of garbage bags, boxes or laundry baskets and label them “Keep,” “Toss,” “Donate,” “?” and “Sell.”
Then sort through your clothes. Being organized really helps you speed through the process, and having lots of options can make you forget you are parting with some old-fashion friends. When you have finished sorting, go through the “?” box twice. Remove at least one item each time you sort through it. In all honesty, this box is a placebo to help keep you calm during the trying time of cleaning out your closet and you probably don’t need to keep any of its contents. If you have things that don’t fit that you love, give them to a friend who will appreciate them. Then you can visit the item on holidays and special occasions.
When all is said and done, immediately go drop off your donations. I have found that keeping items to be donated in the house leads directly to those items crawling right back into my closet. Remember, clothes that you want to donate should always be clean and in good condition. Then trash the trash and sell what can be sold as quickly as you possibly can.
Take a step back and look at all of that marvelous empty space in your closet — perhaps slide the hangers back and forth for a while. When that gets boring I suggest you go shopping. After all, now you have all this ridiculous empty space in your closet just waiting to be filled.
Contact Erin at madeupbyloomis@gmail.com.
DIGG | del.icio.us | REDDIT