True Christmas treasures
Better safe than sorry when it comes to decorating for the holidays
By Joanna Beresford 12/03/2009
“A German man threw himself out of a third-story window along with a Christmas tree during a late-night attempt to dispose of his festive decorations,” the story states. “The man fell seven meters [22 feet] from his flat after he lost his balance throwing the tree onto the street on Saturday, police in the western city of Moenchengladbach said. The tree did not break the victim’s fall.”
There’s so much that I love about this story that I found online. First of all, there was no byline and no publication associated with the story, which to me poses an almost obscenely open invitation for plagiarism.
Also, that’s a killer lead sentence: “A late-night attempt to dispose of his festive decorations?” What kind of beer-barrel parties do these Germans have that can lead to such disposals?
And in the “western city of Moenchengladbach?” Come on. He probably fell out of the window trying to pronounce the name of his home town.
But I’m really digressing. The point is, now that we’ve officially reached holiday season, we can relish the joy of decorating our homes and gardens — but, we must also take care not to hurl ourselves out of third-story windows. You can hurl your spouse if you really need to throw something.
Personally, I love all the holiday cheer. I love every bauble, candle, twinkling light and tempting mistletoe (depending on who’s standing under it). I’m not super-crazy about phony trees and poinsettias. I prefer the sacred smell of fresh pine. But I understand the issues of cost and environment and all that.
My father was a Jew and my mother got kicked out of the Catholic church when she married him (OK, OK, so she was pregnant when they married, but so was MARY, the mother of God, for crying out loud, and her husband was Jewish, too. I shake my head. I don’t get it).
Anyway, I feel that this pluralistic religious background liberates me to relish the pleasures of all Judeo-Christian rituals. I’ve managed, in my peripatetic existence, to travel across the places and phases of life with a couple of precious possessions strapped to my back: my father’s books and the oversized box of Christmas tree ornaments from my childhood, which have since been augmented by the gluey, messy efforts of my own children’s hands. To me, these are the truest Christmas treasures.
My very favorite ornament is an angel mounted on a Popsicle stick, with misshapen white satin dress, tinfoil wings and a droopy halo. My son made this angel about a million years ago and I always impale her on the very top of our tree (no disrespect meant, but I think she likes it); or, rather, my son does the honor, usually pulling over a stool or a chair and plopping her right up there near heaven.
The memory of his climb to the treetop reminds me of another online offering from Matt Hick at ezinearticles.com: “Setting up both simple and elaborate light or miniature decorative displays in yards and homes has become a tradition in itself. Unfortunately, far too many of us fall from ladders and rooftops, experiencing a myriad of bruises, sprains, broken bones, head injuries and even death while decorating for the holidays.
“Last year, nearly 165,000 people were treated in America's emergency rooms just from ladder accidents, not to mention thousands more electrical and other decorating mishaps. Failing to take the proper safety precautions when decorating your home this holiday season can quickly take the Merry right out of your Christmas.”
That is just so well said, I have nothing to add. Except: more Holiday Cheer next week — and until then, be careful! n
Contact Joanna Dehn Beresford at truewrite@yahoo.com
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