Author: Patti Carmalt-Vener

Reconnecting emotionally with an old flame can be hazardous to your marriage

Dear Patti, I love my wife, Tammi, very much and we get along really well. She’s smart, funny and deeply loves me. We have two daughters, ages 4 and 6. My family means the world to me. That said, I’ve recently reconnected with my high school and college sweetheart. She was my first love and it was very passionate and intense. I now can’t get her out of my head. We both acknowledge our former relationship was the most exciting time in our lives. My brother died four months ago and I saw Darla when I went home for...

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Parents worry their immature son can’t put his infant’s needs above his own

Dear Patti, My wife Carol and I have only one child, Vincent, who is now 31. In the past he has been in trouble with the law a few times and we were terrified he’d end up in prison. He fell in love with a wonderful girl and now has a good job, a wife and a 6-month-old baby that’s the joy of all our lives. Since he has really tried to straighten himself out and is a terrific father and husband, we wanted to be as supportive as possible. We gave them our house to live in; we...

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Don’t reinvent yourself physically and emotionally to find a husband

Dear Patti, I recently turned 57. Normally, that would be fine. I’ve taken good care of myself and have always looked young for my age. I am physically and emotionally healthy, intelligent and interesting (I hope). Yet, for the first time ever, I’ve become invisible to men. This is quite a shock, maybe because I’ve taken my looks for granted and cared more about my inner beauty and personality. I’m a swimmer and probably didn’t protect my skin enough from the sun; I can now see where my face is becoming softly lined. Repeatedly, I see men’s eyes go...

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Seek out ways to maintain and deepen relationships with estranged children

Dear Patti, I re-married five years ago and have a 13-year-old stepdaughter with whom I’ve bonded and thoroughly enjoy. Her father doesn’t see her and she’s like a daughter to me. My biggest regret was allowing my ex-wife to take my son Lucas, 10, out of state. She wanted to live near her family. Every summer Lucas comes to stay with me and my second family. I want him to visit during Christmas vacation, but he refuses because he wants to spend Christmas with his cousins. I don’t like it, but I understand, so I only see him once...

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Be proactive in the lives of family and friends to beat depression and isolation

Dear Patti, I’m 84 and my only living family members are my two daughters who moved away from California years ago. Both call me weekly and sometimes it feels like they’re making a duty call. They keep insisting I move near one of them, especially now that I’m older. The truth is the kind of close ties between a parent and adult children that would behoove a father to move became nonexistent after their mother died. When I visit them, I see they have long ago established their own lives and families that have nothing to do with me...

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Upcoming Events

Sep
22
Fri
4:30 pm Tween Writing Workshop at Centra... @ Pasadena Public Library Central Branch
Tween Writing Workshop at Centra... @ Pasadena Public Library Central Branch
Sep 22 @ 4:30 pm – 5:30 pm
Elana K. Arnold, author of “The Question of Miracles” and “A Boy Called Bat” discusses stories from her life and how they have informed her fiction, in a workshop for tweens ages 9 to 12,[...]
5:00 pm An Evening of Wine, Cheese and P... @ Pasadena Senior Center
An Evening of Wine, Cheese and P... @ Pasadena Senior Center
Sep 22 @ 5:00 pm – 7:30 pm
An evening of wine, cheese and painting runs from 5 to 7:30 p.m., starting with a wine and cheese reception, followed by painting artworks on canvas to take home. No experience is required, and staff[...]
6:30 pm Dual Crossroads Crystal Wrapping... @ Dual Crossroads
Dual Crossroads Crystal Wrapping... @ Dual Crossroads
Sep 22 @ 6:30 pm – 8:30 pm
The metaphysical gift shop presents a crystal wrapping workshop, inviting guests to learn about the magical, healing properties of crystals, how to wrap them and to learn how to turn one into a necklace to[...]
7:00 pm Book Signing at Vroman’s @ Vroman's Bookstore
Book Signing at Vroman’s @ Vroman's Bookstore
Sep 22 @ 7:00 pm
Marie Lu discusses and signs “Warcross” at 7 p.m.
Sep
23
Sat
9:00 am Pasadena Early Learning City Lau... @ Brookside Park
Pasadena Early Learning City Lau... @ Brookside Park
Sep 23 @ 9:00 am – 1:00 pm
The City of Pasadena Fire, Human Services and Recreation, Police, Public Health and Public Library Departments host the launch of Pasadena as an Early Learning City, a free community event where families and the public[...]

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