Author: Patti Carmalt-Vener

Mom’s therapist must be familiar with the values and norms of two cultures

Dear Patti,  I’m Asian-American and my parents came to America from Hong Kong. Although I’m living on my own, I’m still extremely close to my mother. I’m very concerned about her, as it’s clear she has been severely depressed for a long time. She’s been to a doctor who has put her on medication and recommended a Chinese psychotherapist. My mother, however, refuses to go. Strangely enough, she’s willing to go to a Caucasian therapist because she somehow feels it will be more anonymous. Unfortunately, she’s very much ashamed of her situation. She has never been to counseling before...

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Mindfulness is one way to help overcome rage

Dear Patti,  I’ve had anger issues ever since I can remember. I was raised by my dad since my mother left us as soon as I was born. I never knew her and always hated her for leaving. I used to get furious at seeing other boys nurtured by their mothers. My first fight was with a boy whose mom brought him homemade cupcakes to school to celebrate his birthday. I didn’t understand I was jealous until I became an adult. I realized at 22 (after knocking another man unconscious while enraged) that enough is enough and I have...

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Twin is upset with recently deceased sister’s husband for already being with another woman

Dear Patti,  It’s a really tough time for me right now. My twin sister, Mary, died four months ago after being in a horrific car accident. Full of pain and almost unrecognizably damaged, she fought to live for three days and then her heart finally gave out. It’s very hard to live without her presence in my life. Mary was difficult and wonderful. She had a fiery temper and, at the same time, was so loyal and kind. She was brilliant, talented and funny. She had it all, and all of us completely loved her. Growing up, she always...

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It’s probably best not to overly pursue reuniting with former lover

Dear Patti,  Four days ago, Josh — my soulmate and true love of my life—broke up with me. I can’t believe how much pain I’m in. We were similar in so many ways and wanted the same things out of life. It was always easy to be with him. When I first met him, I knew we belonged together. I had realized I’d found the person I was supposed to be with and, until now, Josh had felt the same way about me. Josh and I have been dating for over a year. The first eight months were wonderful,...

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THIS WEEK’S COVER

Upcoming Events

Apr
20
Fri
8:00 pm “The Immigrant” at the Sierra Ma... @ Sierra Madre Playhouse
“The Immigrant” at the Sierra Ma... @ Sierra Madre Playhouse
Apr 20 @ 8:00 pm – May 26 @ 8:00 pm
“The Immigrant,” a play by Mark Harelik is set in rural, central Texas in 1909, as a young, Russian-Jewish immigrant settles in a small town, banana cart in tow, after having escaped from pogroms in[...]
Apr
21
Sat
all-day Art on Palm @ Arlington Garden
Art on Palm @ Arlington Garden
Apr 21 all-day
The event features local artists presenting distinctive work, including ceramics, collage, digital art, glass, leather, metals, mixed media, photography, pastels, pencil, textiles, watercolors and exotic woods, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. A minimum donation[...]
all-day Color Festival @ SPUSD Parking Lot
Color Festival @ SPUSD Parking Lot
Apr 21 all-day
Color Festival @ SPUSD Parking Lot |  |  |
NEW DATE — Join us on April 21 to celebrate Spring with a burst of color! A family-friendly event, in the spirit of the India Holi Festival celebrating the coming of Spring, that brings together[...]
10:00 am Computer Pals at La Pintoresca L... @ Pasadena Public Library, La Pintoresca Branch
Computer Pals at La Pintoresca L... @ Pasadena Public Library, La Pintoresca Branch
Apr 21 @ 10:00 am – 11:30 am
Computer Pals invites guests of all ages to learn basic computer skills, create an email account and how to use software for various projects, from 10 to 11:30 a.m.
10:00 am Shambhala Meditation Center Pres... @ Shambhala Meditation Center
Shambhala Meditation Center Pres... @ Shambhala Meditation Center
Apr 21 @ 10:00 am
The Center presents “Sitting Down While Locked Up: Meditation in LA County Jails,” featuring Kate Summers and John MacAdams discussing their work as Buddhist chaplains and meditation instructors in the LA County Sheriff’s Department jail[...]

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